Wednesday, February 19, 2014

MY LOVE STORY - Ed and Mariam

It has been a long 2 years, 1 month, 3 weeks, 3 days and 5 hours, it has been a short 2 years, 1 month, 3 weeks, 3 days and 5 hours since the up and down road began.

Christmas 2011.  My sweetheart had to give up his “yob.”   He considered washing dishes to be his part of the kitchen work and he handled the cleaning with more efficiency and joy than I ever did.   On Christmas Day his feet would no longer hold him.

With his power chair, and he took pride in turning it in an almost staying in the spot swivel, we still went to the in-house lunchroom.  For a while.  Gradually the getting ready, dressed with the neatness that he required, took its toll and we applied for home delivered meals.

He no longer left the apartment, only once in over a year, for a flu shot.  He joined the society of Hospice, another story of great people. We had our Activities, our Events.  Ballgames made the number one hit list.  With DVR we taped Nova, the History, Travel and this turned into a good life for us.

Breathing became more difficult and gradually his mode of travel was our steno chair from bed to living-room Lazy Boy.  Then the day came when he could not lift himself to the bedside commode.  The urinal waited for such a day and Ed fought it.  “Let me get up,” came in angry tones.  “Please, you can’t, you’ll fall.”  Fall he did, a tangle of tubing, legs and potty chair.  I made calls to our wonderful Fire Department and Hospice with lots of help coming quickly.

The next couple of days turned out to be an experiment in finding out what I could do and what I couldn’t do.  Despite his pleas, I continued to explain “Sweet man, I can not lift you.”  His anger said, “Then I will do it by myself.” 

His talking became one word that I had to decipher.  Two exceptions, both at his side after a short nap. 

“Don’t take me too soon” and “Give me an hour.”

By Tuesday morning,  I knew that I had to have help.  I called son Fred and made arrangements for Fred and my special daughter-in-law Magaly, to come.  I called Cornerstone Hospice and made arrangement for our wonderful Service Coordinator Theresa to come.   

Theresa put her skills to work and found a very good nursing home with an available bed.  Hospice would take care of all expense for a few days then he would go for long term care, using as much money as Ed had, then to a different plan.

All settled.  The transport would pick Ed and Mariam up between seven and eight in the evening, Fred and Magaly would meet us there to take me back to their home.

I got all necessary to take with me for both Ed and Mariam.  I put on clean clothes wearing Ed’s favorite blouse.  We had an hour left.  I laid on the bed with our heads together, our arms together, our hands together.  Ed’s words were mumblings and I could not understand.  Our bond was still strong, I knew what he was saying.  I talked some and we played hand teasing games some and I rubbed his neck some.  We were home on our bed with each other.  For this moment, we wanted nothing more.

Mix-up came about on the transportation.  The man showed up with a wheelchair instead of a gurney.  I took him in to Ed’s bed and explained that a gurney would be necessary.  Ed acknowledged the man’s greeting, appeared to be aware of what was going on.

A little more confusion and I had to call the Fire Department in order to move Ed downstairs.  As the firemen were coming down the hall I went back into the bedroom.  Ed had just left.

My sweet man had fooled us all.  He planned on dying at home and his timing was perfect. 

I know and my sister Nancy knows that my brother-in-law John waited for Ed.  They had the same delightful low key humor and now together they enjoy the trick that Ed had pulled.  He wasn’t going to a nursing home, he wasn’t going to spend his hard-saved dollars on what he considered unnecessary care.  He had used his last hour in the kind of happiness he wanted.

One last blessing.  After all the necessary people and equipment had left, I went out on the porch to talk to God.  There have been many such talks in the years since we have been in this apartment. 

I said,  “Thank you, God.  Thank you for letting him leave from his home.  Thank you for letting him go with so much peacefulness.  Thank you for answering my pleas.” 

As I stood there, the full moon, the full moon that Ed put up there for me every month, came out from behind the clouds.  I knew that Ed was on his way in peace and carrying my love with him.

This is for you, Ed, my sweetie pie, my sweet man.

Wednesday February 19, 2014 6:00 pm

Saturday, February 15, 2014

You are not alone - Bucket List


#1 - Pierce Ears  - Ears doing fine.  My sweetie pie, after initial dislike for anyone punching holes in me, slept on the idea, then handed me a chunk of money and said “Go for it.”  Now that I am looking at purty sparkly ear rocks, which aren’t cheap, he realizes that he will have an investment in my ears.

#2 – With Encouragement & Information from Christina, Fred and Urssy – I am now enrolled in college once again.  Yes, the Lifelong Learning Institute, for 55 plus, downtown ASU, class will be maybe 3/4’s a mile from my front door, easy walking distance.  The class:  INTRODUCTION TO TRAVEL WRITING, not first choice but the only available with action.  The purpose:  to find a circle with people who have my interests.  Starts March 21, four weeks, an hour and a half on Friday.  I hope to do usual morning routine early, Ed settled comfortably and all should be OK for a couple of hours.

#3 – Bite the bullet and get it over with.  Join with the big kids.  Don’t be such a scairdy cat!  OK, I told the very nice Joel at Consular Cellular – Sign me up.  Goodbye faithful companion land phone.  Hello, nice little cellphone. Well, it may be little but it is the largest that I could find.  A couple of days and I will be asking anyone around of the younger generation – What do I do next.  My phone number will be the same but I do not have unlimited mileage, only (gasp) 500 minutes. 

#4 – Web set-up.  Slow.  Trying to decide which 4 or 5 stories from long ago. 

#5 – Myrt-Ty-Ly-Ky.  Here is her picture.  She still has a lot of writing to do before her book will be ready.

Sigh.  Bucket lists are tough sometimes.


Thursday, February 6, 2014

Bucket List #2 writing class in downtown Phoenix

Bucket List:

 #1 - Pierce Ears

Monday morning – cross Pierce Ears off of Bucket List.  The cute young gal at Clare’s assured me that the age of 86 was not too old to have pierced ears.  So now I twist my little sparkle every hour to keep an active hole in my ear lobe.  It will be 60 days before I can replace sparkle with fancier earrings and already I am looking at brighter and dangles.

My special young granddaughter Tia is suggesting we have matching tattoos next.   Her father and my husband will go thru the roof.

#2 - Class in downtown Phoenix with real live people who write stories and sell them. 

Thursday afternoon – A chilly windy gray day and I almost talk myself into taking a nap instead of walking over to ASU downtown, the home of Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication, home of 7,000 students, to ask about a writing class and possibly a marketing class for my published book.  The goal is to find some action and discuss, talk, learn with other people about writing and selling books. 

I trudged (yes, trudged by this time) along the little avenue where students sit outside when it is sunny and I ventured into several up-date beautiful buildings, talked to several cute young receptionists, ended up in the School of Writing which is stuck in the basement of the old postoffice.  I learned (unofficially) that enrollment costs about $4500 and there are no writing classes at ASU downtown, the home of Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication. 

I trudged home and will take my nap after posting this to relieve my aggravation.

I can’t believe there is no place for an old lady to go and find real live people who are writing and/or publishing and/or selling fiction books.

Sigh.  Bucket lists are tough sometimes.

WANTED – SEARCHING – LOOKING FOR real live writing and or marketing class with real live people in downtown Phoeix.  #writingclass #marketingclass #downtownPhoenix #seniorcitizen